Dodge & Burn

Yesterday, the wind in Colorado blew in a way that I have never before experienced. Running at dawn today, I came across fallen trees and broken fences but not even a whisper of wind. The force of nature.

Viola, my sister, was a force of nature. I was reminded of the morning that she died. The sun shone, the sky was blue, and birds were singing but our hearts were broken.  Anniversaries and birthdays are painful. While running, my mind reached for ways to honor her life.

I’m grateful for seeing her; in the sun as it hits the top of Longs Peak, in the corner creases of my parents’ eyes as they continue to love those of us who remain– losing a child whether it be to death or circumstances beyond anyone’s control is the cruelest loss–in the memory of the way Jon tended to her during her years-long illness, the way Anna is a Mother to Giles and an artist to the world, Phoebe’s fearlessness and love of nature, Craig’s sense of humor and way with words, Em’s creativity and love for animals, in Austin’s tenacity and love of music, in Carson’s abilty to find wonder in places the rest of us overlook, when holding Giles, and in Dean who knows how to help me pick up the pieces when my heart breaks all over again even though it’s been 5 years since she died.